Anytime You Wish
by lil kagome 15
Summary: This is in Sakura's POV, and focuses mostly on the emotional connection between her and Sasuke, and in the end you find out a secret on their futer. [complete][sasukesakura]


**Title: **Anytime you Wish

**Rating: **T (PG;13)

**Author: **lil kagome

**Date of Creation: **Dec. 22nd, 2006

**Dedication: **This is dedicated to someone very dear to me, though we cannot be together, I am very glad to know him, and be able to call him a friend.

**Disclaimer: **I claim nothing other but the plot, everything else go ahead and take credit for.

It wasn't like I hadn't known, he was much more than I ever was, and he could clearly take care of his own vestiges. I can't stand how I just stare, it's like I'm waiting for him to crack, waiting to see him tear away from us once again. It's like time brings me no trust for his own will. He stares back sometimes, glaring in disgust as I worry and fuss over his silence.

I used to fuss only for the fact that he ignored me, but now it's much more restrained, much more focused on his feelings. He seems to be coming around, but I can only hope he's going to forgive himself for what he's done. I sometimes tell him-not that he listens-that it's not his fault, his brother was dead long before he killed him. His brother was not that creature he had destroyed three years back.

Naruto comes with us most times, but there were few instances it had been just he and I, only those times seemed the most awkward. He didn't talk much on those days, not that he'd have talked much if Naruto had come, but it seemed odd enough that he just stared blankly at the wall of Icharaku.

I lost my parents last fall, only ignoring my pain for wanting to help in team sevens long term mission of the year. I had been reserved for the most part of the mission, not saying hardly anything two the three men accompanying me, but they didn't seem to mind. I would sometimes just watch them, just to pass the time. Maybe that's why it amused me so much when I saw Sasuke doing the same thing, for nearly the same reasons.

We never really did click, though I do find his life interesting in it's own respects-that's all it is. He's had to change himself to live in the village, he's had to stop complaining to the Hokage, which is actually one thing I never understood. He would sometimes just start arguing, out of absolutely nowhere, a very un-characteristic trait. He had hated the fact he'd been put under probation, and had plead the fact that he could be doing more useful things than being escorted around Kanoha by two ANBU jounin.

The things that had irritated me the most was that he never seemed to be happy, or contented with the way things had turned out. He had sat alone at that bench so many nights it wasn't even a routine, it was an obligation. His mind required it of him, without it he couldn't remember where he was, or what he had done. It just never seemed as real unless he was there. Sometimes I'd go there with him, just to sit and listen as the stars burned brightly from the skies. Sometimes I'd look over to him, wondering if he had fallen asleep or was merely meditating, but in my own stubbornness refused to disturb him.

It was last week when I found him training with Naruto, with fists and kunai of course, they wouldn't have risked jitsu's under Tsunade's watch. I had stood there, just contented in the silent sparring match they held, neither losing, nor neither ever winning. It seemed odd to me, that they would go through this ritual, as if gauging the others standard abilities, or trying to work off the adrenaline for the day. I never was quit sure of the reason, but it never really mattered.

It was last year when I was finally made a jounin, and this spring I was given the title of ANBU medic. I'm still not sure if I deserved the title, but I'm working to assure on keeping it. I've not been on a mission for three weeks, and Naruto and Sasuke keep bugging me about the rumor of my injury in the last battle. Of course I hadn't told them, never really finding a need to. It had been a cold night and I had not really been watching my surroundings, unfortunately the medic is supposed to stay alert at all times, and with good reason. I was targeted by three opposing ninja, and thrown to the ground with measurable force, I fought directly with the sound-nin, but unfortunately I had hit my head in the fall, and passed out before the end of the mission. I was brought back the next day, still unconscious, but very much alive. I ended up having a severe concussion, with some mild injuries to the arms and a bruise on my left knee, easily fixed. I faulted only myself for my fall, and earned myself the gratitude of my very worried captain.

Sasuke is scheduled for captain initiation in the summer, and I'm glad for that, if only for him to have something to do. We went to the festival in March, both of us held captive by our own thoughts, and both of us quieted by our own insensitiveness. We never did find the time to feel sorry for each other, merely to acknowledge the others pain. Hinata sometimes jokes about it as our own special connection, which in a way I can agree with. I know we have a connection, but it's nothing much stronger than that, and I can only doubt that he'd ever let it be more.

Today's the day I'm supposed to leave for my long-term mission. I can't wait to get going; the anticipation of it all has been driving me insane. Sasuke's coming this time, though I suppose that's no reason for celebration. He's coming as second in command, only to Neji of course, who's been my captain for the remainder of this month. He's engaged to Tenten now, though we were all just waiting for the ring. We had known of their love affair for some time, ever since they had been caught kissing in the Hokage's office in fact.

So I'm standing at the gates again, I suppose it's a customary thing for a mission, but it just signifies loss to me. Why, I'm not truly certain. I just hope that I don't forget it, the mission is supposed to take nearly a year, and I'm only hoping that I can find something missing in my life. I've been trying to solve this puzzle since my parent's death, but back then I had only thought of it as the absence of them, but it's evolved into something deeper. It's a sickening, deepening, pit of my stomach feeling. It makes me want to run, to exhaust all my energy till there's nothing but sleep. Though this method only left me feeling worse.

I'm looking to my left, and all I see is dirt and grass, I'm looking to my right and there's something that was never there before. Sasuke? He looks so different in his junin uniform, though I have to say it suits him. He looks so grown up. Wow! How corny was that? I laugh to myself as he approaches, ignoring my sudden burst of happiness. He nods to me, and I simple nod back, never really being one for words-or at least not the new me.

It's nearly time to leave, and I'm waiting only for our captain, though he's not showing. This is one of those times I wish I couldn't worry, but I am, and of course with good reason. There was a moment when I almost said something, but in the next second he was before us, motioning for the mission to commence. Of course I was relieved, but I didn't let it show, as I slid my ANBU mask down upon my face, hiding my girly features that were slightly disfigured with my brightening smile and sparkling eyes.

My pink hair had to be hidden beneath a hood, my whole body covered except for the small amount of skin on my fingers and toes that were exposed to the cool wind. I reveled in the feel of flight as I landed from branch to branch. Was this what I had been missing? Was this the one thing that left me longing for more? Possibly, but there was still that feeling of wanting more, of needing to find that one thing that would make my life complete. Of course nothing was ever complete till the end, so I offered myself that thought to let my waiting not crowd my mind at the moment. I sighed as we stopped, observing that it was well past dusk. We set up camp carefully, not wanting to be followed or found out. I leaned against a log by the fire; and thought how surprising it was that I was the only female on this team. I had been assigned to an all-guy team more than once, but this was just odd, _I _was never chosen for these missions, these ones that required brute strength, concentration, and fervent determination. Of course I had those things, but as far as I know these missions were only supposed to go to the male junin of Kanoha. Maybe it was thanks to Tsunade. I smiled at the thought, knowing she had tested my capabilities enough to know I was able to fend my own on any type of mission, or under any type of stress.

Sasuke stared silently over the fire at me, and I was so lost in my thoughts I could almost feel his smirk. I smiled slightly as I acknowledged his presence, still not saying a word to disturb the comfortable silence. He stood, walking out towards the others, speaking in hushed tones as I leaned back some more, falling into a light sleep as I pushed all my thoughts away for the moment.

It was near dawn when I woke, to the sound of something moving from within one of the nearby tents. I looked toward the menace, and found it to be none other than Sasuke himself. He walked up to the look-out, and placed his hand on his shoulder. "Go get some sleep before dawn, I'll keep your post." He slumped down next to me, poking at the crackling fire with a stick. "Go back to sleep." He said, his voice calm as he stared into the fire, not bothering to look down at me.

"That's ok, I should be up anyways." He looked down at me for a moment, a frown covering his face, but he didn't say a word as he rubbed his hands together, trying to get the blood circulating again. I was guessing it must have been cold in the tents, and I was most likely right. He tugged a strand of my hair for a moment, and I almost jumped at the un-Sasuke-like move. He smirked down at me, and I almost wanted to punch it off his face.

"It's grown a lot, hasn't it?" I nodded, remembering how short it had been before he'd left, it now reached past my mid back, and had to be hidden inside my jacket.

"Yeah, it has, and I've been meaning to cut it, it just seems I never get the time to." I sigh as I let the strand drop back down onto my side.

"I like it this length, it suits you." His voice doesn't hold any tenderness, or any bitterness. I can almost hear the sincerity behind his calloused words, but I do not smile, not yet.

"Yeah, but in your case, it doesn't suit you. You need a hair-cut bud." I laugh as he glares at me, his eyes still holding a bit of laughter themselves.

"I suppose your right, so when do you have time?" His words shocked me for a moment, the meaning becoming clear to me that he wanted _me_ to cut his hair, of course this did give my pride that much more of a boost. I smiled and answered him politely.

"Anytime you wish." He nodded and leaned back against the log with me, his eyes falling upon the fire once again.

"You'll wait for me, right?" It was an odd question in my mind, but I knew its meaning, I knew he meant to wait for him to be ready. He was going to need someone to resurrect his clan with, and why anyone better than me? I doubted that for a moment, listing off the many other girls that would much better suit his personality, and his tastes, but I brushed it off.

"Anytime you wish." I said once again, and for the first time that feeling in the pit of my stomach ceased to exist, in my seventeen years of life I had never felt so comfortable then when I just sat here, staring at the fire, beside my one day destined to be husband. I smiled to myself, knowing things would work out. No matter how much he may have blamed himself, no matter how much I hid my pain, we were always going to be there, even when we were silent, we were speaking words beyond the rest, if only in our solitude we remained together, and our hearts intact.

"Good." Was all he said for the rest of the night, leaving me feeling awed and more than just a little excited. I placed my head back, leaning against the log, and admiring for the first time the way the sky seemed to burn with the harshly entering morning light. I almost feared the time when this silence would end, and we'd be on the move again, but there was always tomorrow night. I smiled again, only looking to my left when Sasuke's head neared my own, looking up to the sky as well. Things would _definitely _work out. I decided at that point, that it had no choice, it was a pre-destined thing, and neither of us were willing nor able to stop it from occurring. So we just let it be, like all those times before.

**CBA- **Wow, I geuss I was inspired, well It's midnight now, so I'm going to post this and head to bed, thank you all in advance for reviewing, and please REVIEW IF YOU WISH FOR A SEQAUL.

Thank you-

-CBA


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